A Weird Last Week In June

Weird June Ralph

It all started with Grumpy-Human leaving us for a short trip to the UK.

ICE Train  He took the ICE / Eurostar trains via Brussels but was back home 12 hours later. He says they turned his train back near Calais, France because of a strike by French workers. Also rather strangely there are thousands of Humans from other countries trying to sneak into the UK via the Channel Tunnel and ferries. Why the UK? I have travelled there a lot, yep they have great Boarding Kennels and stuff but the dog food is crap, the size of their houses are mostly tiny so us dogs get a bit claustrophobic, go figure…

Dogs playing in the UK. Ralph  The UK countryside is brilliant for us dogs though. This is me and me mates having so much fun in the UK last year, miss em I have to say, sigh…

I think the Humans at Calais need the help of The Cop, aka a Border Collie eh? Anyway there was such chaos with the refugee Humans taking the opportunity to sneak on to trucks and trains that the Channel Tunnel was closed and Grumpy-Human had to make the long trek back to Frankfurt. He WAS Grumpy upon his return to us too. His second attempt was to fly instead and that was successful.

Grumpy-Human returned home a few days later with a new car… Wot, I thought? What was wrong with the old Car, I only just got used to it! I have blogged rather negatively about The Car in the past I know but I hate change, don’t my Humans know this yet?

The really weird part about the new car is that the driver sits in the wrong place, he/she sits on the right side of the car because it’s a UK car. This I fear is going to make it tricky driving about Germany, I think I might insist on riding in the back for safety reasons…

Right Hand Drive Germany  On the plus side Boss-Human says its great at intersections, she likes to sit in what is normally the driver’s seat in German cars while reading a magazine. Heh heh, it freaks the German drivers out as they think our car’s driver is foolishly reading while driving!

Ralph and the Honda CRV  At least it has a tad more room in the back where us dogs get stuffed than the last car… And oh my god that’s a big tail gate…

To top off a weird week, last night or more precisely at 2:30am wild pigs come down from the forest and started a blood curdling screaming fit at our gate. I think a piglet had gotten lost. Well I tried and tried to wake my humans up, eventually Grumpy-Human came down to see what all the fuss was about. Now I am not a trained pig-dog so no way was I going outside as Grumpy-Human was suggesting.

I remember some advice from Uncle Dog about pigs: “Yummy when bacon, rapid exit stage right when breathin”.

Anyway they eventually left and me and Grumpy-Human retired for some well-earned sleep… that was until 7am when some bloody guys with chainsaws came and started trimming the forest across the road from our house! Can’t a dog cop a break? As you know I’m not a morning person but with an already rough night I had no qualms about barking the hell at them and with encouragement from Grumpy-Human too.

What a week, I need a holiday…

R

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