Crossing The Rhine

I was out with my Humans in The Car (I know but I was persuaded by talk of ball throwing and nice gentle walks in the woods…) not long ago and we came across this river.

rhine01 First thing that caught my eye was the funny shaped church in the middle of the river. Humans are crazy creatures, why build in the middle of the river when there is perfectly good dry land eh?

My Humans say it’s a castle with the rather long name of Pfalzgrafenstein. Built to charge tolls to travelers on the river around 1326. Tad old then… Anyway next thing I know my Humans are saying we have to cross the river. What? We are in a car, The Car what’s wrong with a perfectly good bridge?


We are not going to the boat castle? Tell me we are not?


Next this flat boat thing turns up, bloody hell…


You Humans have got to be kidding me, WE ARE NOT GOING ON THAT!


But we did… No stopping a Human once their mind is set.



This is decidedly unsafe guys, turn it around…


Are we there yet I daren’t look…


Ye Gods we made it…

I will continue this dog’s tail on another occasion. I have a Rugby match to watch…


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OMG Its Autumn!


Or Fall for my American friends… I have no idea why this year’s colours are so much better than last year but even my jaded dog perspective is wowed! One morning I took my bleary eyed early morning self outside to do my business and all was green, three days later this! Here are a few pictures taken on the local walk out our front door near Frankfurt Germany, enjoy!




Don’t throw me ball, it will get lost in the leaves!



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October Holidays

Ralph Border Collie

It’s October and school holidays so as usual we planned a holiday somewhere in Europe, this time a sort of last blast of Europe before we leave for Australia in January. The plan was to take me to Paris then Bordeaux, San Sebastian, Porto and Lisbon, home via Barcelona. Now yes this was a tad optimistic considering we only had ten days to do it and we would be driving… Now the Australian camp thought it would be just like driving from Perth to Port Headland but with a few more villages in between… the New Zealand contingent were equally gung-ho: “how hard can it be, it’s just a drive” Grumpy-Human stated!


First problem: Me, it seems most hotels in France and Spain were not terribly interested in my furry self in their hotel rooms. Hey Germany was way friendlier on this so I don’t know what their problem is. Anyway hotels willing to give my good self a roof were found if not a tad more expensive and in odd locations.

Second problem: Me again. Sadly to get around Paris we would need to use the Paris Metro (Subway). Now dogs are aloud if they are carried in a bag! I could see Curly-Human sizing me up with some huge shopping bag with a hole cut out for me head. Nope not happening, I’m not going to be lugged around like groceries.

Third problem: Yep, me again, this time it was our final destination Lisbon. We were visiting our good friends who recently moved there. The problem was their Humans have dog allergies and the house is not suitable for dogs anyway. After much searching and great assistance from local friends we found a couple of Lisbon dog kennels. Now I’m not a great fan of these places and Lisbon kennels sounded like a big unknown to me!

So in the end my stand-in Humans were roped in to kindly babysit me at home so yet again I missed out! Well I had a great holiday of my own too. My stand-in Humans are now well trained and much easier to score treats from. Psst… they even let me sit on their laps… don’t tell my Humans…They do however go for a lot of really long walks though and as you guys know I’m not much into a lot of walking, kinda like my home patch. One walk a day is good enough for me, two at a pinch. Hey they even run on these “walks”, go figure!

eu1015-02  eu1015-03

It turns out my family had a great time although as I thought, the itinerary was adjusted a bit just to be sensible so Porto and Barcelona were ditched. There was a huge amount of driving and boy did they look weary when they arrived home. Two ten hour drives from Lisbon to Frankfurt with an overnighter in Bordeaux, whew! Pleased I didn’t go now, I’ve never been a fan of The Car. A 5000 kilometre (3000 mile) round trip, need another holiday I think!

Here are a few snaps from my Humans holiday sans me…


Thank god I’m not going, they don’t have room for me anyway!


Up the Eiffel Tower in Paris


Me sampling a cocktail or two…


This just cracked me up when my Humans showed it to me. A stray dog spotted in Bordeaux behind a food market. He has just scored the biggest bags of treats ever! My hero mate!


My stand-in gobbling the famous Portuguese pastel de nata (custard tarts to you and I) in Lisbon, lucky thing…


Me defending Lisbon!


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Away With The Fairies

Ok Ok I have not been blogging this past week. Not that I have been “away with the fairies” my Humans have mind you I tend to think.

I have been a little bit under house arrest. My Humans have been away on holiday in France and Portugal and I have had to contend with my “Stand In” Humans who have not let me even close to a keyboard…  More later though…

Just heard New Zealand and Australia are in the Rugby World Cup final. Now in our Aussie / Kiwi house I predict war… time for me and me black and white colours to keep a low profile for a bit… Go All Blacks, just saying…

Post soon


How To Get Human Food

I was thinking about food as I often do, especially Human food. At lunch time today I had some yummy chicken leftovers from my Humans last night dinner. I also scored a few tasty Krabben Chips from Grumpy-Human’s snack bowl while he was distracted watching the Rugby! Love them, especially the spicy ones…

I really don’t understand why human food is so tasty and I rarely get to eat it, instead I get dog food.


Happy Dog!!! Really!. You Humans should try it before making that statement.

food11   Now to be fair the local pet shop does have kangaroo which my Humans do buy as a treat for me and it’s not half bad. Not Human food however, at least not in Germany. Funny story: My Human’s once tried some imported Kangaroo on the BBQ and invited their German neighbours over. Long story but suffice to say they have not been back since…

Now I’m not even sure dog food is technically food, it tastes so bad compared to Human food and it looks bad too.

Every chance I get I go for the Human stuff but I have to be deviously cunning to get it. Here are a few tips and tricks for getting Human food.

food01  One of the first things you learn is the old hide under the table trick. Now it actually does not matter that your Humans know you are there. What I do is rest my head gently on the sucker err I mean Human’s knee and generally they can’t help but give you a wee morsel, secretly of course as they don’t want the other Humans at the table to know. It’s brilliant!

food02  And of course there is the classic lightning strike method while said tasty morsel is in transit from plate to mouth. But you really do have to quick on this one.

food03  Puruse the menu board just like a Human would  – make mine a cinnamon one thanks!

CZ-2015_151  These Trdelniks from our Prague adventure were extremely yummy I must say.

food05  The sneaky scoff the cake while the Human is distracted by her magic device trick. Sadly it didn’t work in this case with Black Forest cake in the Black Forest.


I just tossed this one in because it was amusing to me and my Humans at the time and is food related. Metz, France, they have an Australian themed cafe, why?

food07  The old remove the oyster while the Human is distracted taking her fancy photos trick.

df-2015_081  Then there is the offer to be a guard dog protecting all the ummm… very  yummy meat while the BBQ-Human is away tip. So easy then to scoff a piece of steak, they never notice… One other tip though, be bloody careful, the steak can be hot!

food09    Now this isn’t a trick, but a great score if you can get it. It’s my birthday, my Humans are rather sentimental and are keen to lavish gifts on me. I’m quite keen to encourage this of course. Last birthday I got a hamburger meat stack topped off with corn. Colourful but I didn’t tell my Humans the corn was rather unnecessary, hey don’t want to rain on their parade eh?

Have fun guys…


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The Unobtainable Ball

Ralph  Don’t you just hate it when ya ball rolls under something and your Humans don’t seem to understand your pleas for assistance?



With Lassie it was apparently easy, she just looked her boy Human in the eye gave a quick yip and off they would both trot to rescue someone trapped in a well or some such thing.

trapped-03  I’ve tried the direct eye contact and yip approach… Mostly this does not work. My Humans are a bit dense on this. The interpretation and actions range from getting food, letting me outside, getting a quick pat or just “bugger off Ralph I’m busy” … so I will really have to get back to my communications training for Humans.

trapped-02  Anyway, I managed to rescue me favourite ball without my Humans help this time. Lucky eh?


I’m thinking that what my Humans need is a Dog / Human language translator, must check next time I’m online, perhaps the Google Translate app can do it?

Google Translate for dogs


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The World’s Biggest Sheep

I’ve had a nice slow week after my encounter with The Vet. I’ve been keeping a low profile with my Humans and watching the Rugby World Cup too of course. By the way did you see England lose to Australia? Boy that was a big game and a half, I know I go for the All Blacks and  Australia due to my Kiwi / Aussie family but I really felt for the Poms (Aussie term for the English) last night.

Ralph watching Rugby

Anyway when I heard my Humans were going out for the day to somewhere called The Stables to visit some friends it sounded interesting and worth risking a car ride for, so off we went.

horse-03  Now you’re just not going to believe this. These stables housed the biggest sheep in the world! I swear the hooves on the things were as big as my head.


It must be pretty vicious too as it was kept behind this electric fence. I touched it and crikey what a jolt, not doing that again…

horse-02  Oh my god its going to eat me!

horse-01   They come in many colours but the wool on em looks a little thin. I wonder if there are super sized Border Collies where they come from to round em up eh…

It got worse as my silly Humans decided to hop up onto the back of one them. I thought of rescuing them but then decided nah, looks decidedly dangerous to get to close those hooves so I thought best to leave em to it. Hey, they didn’t listen to my warning bark…

horse-05  I did meet a new mate which was pretty cool.


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