How To Get Human Food

I was thinking about food as I often do, especially Human food. At lunch time today I had some yummy chicken leftovers from my Humans last night dinner. I also scored a few tasty Krabben Chips from Grumpy-Human’s snack bowl while he was distracted watching the Rugby! Love them, especially the spicy ones…

I really don’t understand why human food is so tasty and I rarely get to eat it, instead I get dog food.

food10

Happy Dog!!! Really!. You Humans should try it before making that statement.

food11   Now to be fair the local pet shop does have kangaroo which my Humans do buy as a treat for me and it’s not half bad. Not Human food however, at least not in Germany. Funny story: My Human’s once tried some imported Kangaroo on the BBQ and invited their German neighbours over. Long story but suffice to say they have not been back since…

Now I’m not even sure dog food is technically food, it tastes so bad compared to Human food and it looks bad too.

Every chance I get I go for the Human stuff but I have to be deviously cunning to get it. Here are a few tips and tricks for getting Human food.

food01  One of the first things you learn is the old hide under the table trick. Now it actually does not matter that your Humans know you are there. What I do is rest my head gently on the sucker err I mean Human’s knee and generally they can’t help but give you a wee morsel, secretly of course as they don’t want the other Humans at the table to know. It’s brilliant!

food02  And of course there is the classic lightning strike method while said tasty morsel is in transit from plate to mouth. But you really do have to quick on this one.

food03  Puruse the menu board just like a Human would  – make mine a cinnamon one thanks!

CZ-2015_151  These Trdelniks from our Prague adventure were extremely yummy I must say.

food05  The sneaky scoff the cake while the Human is distracted by her magic device trick. Sadly it didn’t work in this case with Black Forest cake in the Black Forest.

food06

I just tossed this one in because it was amusing to me and my Humans at the time and is food related. Metz, France, they have an Australian themed cafe, why?

food07  The old remove the oyster while the Human is distracted taking her fancy photos trick.

df-2015_081  Then there is the offer to be a guard dog protecting all the ummm… very  yummy meat while the BBQ-Human is away tip. So easy then to scoff a piece of steak, they never notice… One other tip though, be bloody careful, the steak can be hot!

food09    Now this isn’t a trick, but a great score if you can get it. It’s my birthday, my Humans are rather sentimental and are keen to lavish gifts on me. I’m quite keen to encourage this of course. Last birthday I got a hamburger meat stack topped off with corn. Colourful but I didn’t tell my Humans the corn was rather unnecessary, hey don’t want to rain on their parade eh?

Have fun guys…

R

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4 thoughts on “How To Get Human Food

  1. Hi Ralph, my favourite opportunity is the summer evening drinkies, when dishes of charcuterie and saucisson and crisps are put out on the nice low coffee table. By the time I hear the second cork popping, I know that its going to be easy pickings. Blog

    Liked by 2 people

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