One Border Collie’s Christmas

Hello guys and Merry Christmas! It’s Christmas Eve and all is well. Looks like the bloke in the red and white fluffy sheep costume has been. Missed him sneaking in again. One year I’m gonna catch the bloke red handed for impersonating a sheep, what is he like eh?


Now while my Humans are distracted I’ll have a wee sneak preview of me prezzies…



Oops… Rumbled… I was just guarding the prezzies from the bloody Putty Tat from next door, honest!


Its Christmas morning and finally me Humans are up…  I know, I know, I have a Christmas jumper on. It woz Curly-Human who dunnit, look it doesn’t even fit, it was meant for a Chihuahua!


Any way down to business, what’s in me stocking eh?



This better be a ball, just saying…



Yep, it’s a ball!, a spikey ball no less, one of me favs. I had one from last year and had recently finally managed to pick off the spikey bits and start shredding the ball itself when me bloody interfering in dogs business Humans nicked it. Something about a mess of plastic bits around the house… Well now I can start all over heh heh…


… anyway if it’s a mess they want lets have some fun with the Christmas wrapping paper …


Hey! Curly-Human, come and have some fun. This wrapping paper is just the best for shredding and dragging around the house!


I have one other prezzie but I can’t yet have it. My Humans decided to steal some of me blood while I was comatose during the V.E.T.s extraction of the tree from me ear a few weeks ago. They have sent it off to a lab for analysis to see what my pedigree is. I’m pretty sure I’m pure Royalty though. A Border Collie direct descendent of Old Hemp himself of course. Will post on me results later.


So there you go, another Christmas under me belt. My first in a hot climate. Bring on me Christmas lunch and bring on 2017!



It’s Christmas 2016!

Only two sleeps to go to the big day. It seems like the last year has flown by, even in dog years. It was so bloody cold in those northern climes and remember this…

Get me outta here…

I was sooo embarrassed as you can tell by my expression. Well this year as it’s a sunny summer down under in Australia there are no signs of the silly fluffy hats and thank god, no Christmas jumpers to be seen anywhere!



Now sadly last year I did a blog about my last trips to the German Christmas markets, you can find it here. Sadly on two counts, one I genuinely loved to visit them with all their lovely sights and smells but on the other count I’m sad at the loss of life at the Berlin Christmas market a few days ago. My heart goes out to those hurt and the families of those killed. I really despair of you Humans world sometimes…






On a more positive note here I am with our 2016 tree!

Yay! No silly hat!

It’s a fake tree this year as it’s a bit hard to come by a real Christmas tree in these parts, it’s not like having a forest across the road like we had last year.


Pressies beginning to accumulate under it too I note. I smelt one and it has to be a ball for me, heh heh…


I’ve hit the jackpot!

Speaking of balls Christmas is full of em, it drives me crazy. What a waste, sticking perfectly good balls on trees when you could be throwing them for me!

Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year too.


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The Putty Tat Next Door Part 1.

I have a tail to tell, heh heh … Before I begin though, a disclaimer from my Human editor – Not fair, my Human wouldn’t let my blog out without this…

Ralph does not like cats, he does not know why, he has never really met one up front but he has an inbuilt obsession for chasing them. We, his Humans, love cats and would have one in our family in a heart-beat if it was not for two critical facts: 1 – Curly-Human is allergic to them and 2 – Ralph and cats don’t mix… Perhaps it was when he saw his first cat as a puppy and we pointed it out to him calling it a Putty Tat after the well-known cartoon. Perhaps it was those street cats who tormented him from just out of reach in Croatia, we will never know… Anyway back to Ralph’s story, some of which is even true…

It all started with our neighbours getting a kitten for their Wee-Human’s birthday. Now a kitten is just a miniature Putty Tat, just as devious and cunning as their bigger versions so be warned. Anyway, in the realm of the Putty Tat having a second cat in the house puts a bit of a strain on relations with the original Putty Tat. He didn’t like his smaller counterpart one little bit. Especially since his family doted on the new addition ignoring him.

These animals are crafty devils, Putty Tat decided he would like to move houses and took a fancy to his nearest neighbour, us. He started by hanging around in the evenings on our front porch when he knew his enemy, me, would be nice and comfy in side. I knew he was there but could not persuade my Humans of the evil that lurked right outside the window. On numerous occasions I would bark furiously at the front door but the little bugger would disappear when the door was opened making me look foolish.



A Putty Tat, Beware!

I’m till working on my Humans getting me a picture of the Putty Tat. This is my exceptionally well drawn likeness of him…

I knew its strategy, Putty Tat would approach my Humans when I was distracted elsewhere, like having a rather large pointy tree removed from me ear. He would smooch around me Humans like he was the most gentle and kind creature in the world who wouldn’t hurt a fly… Yeah right… in fact one positive side of this unwelcome visitor was the sudden departure of another unwelcome visitor, those pesky Meces I blogged about earlier this year. Now I know what happened to em. Wouldn’t hurt a fly, my ear…

I think Putty Tats must be a bit dim though. I mean he knows I’m around, a rather large and fierce predator not to be messed with, (that can take on anything Australia has to offer, just saying…) Why would you risk life and limb trying to make my home your home?


Unless… Oh the cunning little bugger, his idea is to make me look like the monster and him the innocent cuddly Putty Tat. Nah, my Humans wouldn’t ditch me for the Putty Tat, he’s been watching way too many cartoons on his Humans TV.


I Taut I Taw a Puddy Tat

But wait.. that sneaky Putty Tat might be on to something. I have seen Princess-Human patting the horrid creature then pleading with Boss-Human for a Putty Tat of her own, notwithstanding the 2 issues mentioned above by  Editor-Human.

I would obviously have to give this problem more attention than I originally thought.











The story continues…


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Attack of the killer plants

This morning I was out in our backyard minding my own business in me fav sunny spot when a bloody huge lance of pain shoots through my right ear. “What the… was that?” I thought, while letting out a blood curdling scream that attracted the attention of me Humans and half the neighbourhood.

Bloody hell that hurts…


I thought one of those deadly Australian creatures I’d heard all about back in Germany had finally got me.


Pretty sure it must have been a croc hiding under our house. Putting paw to ear I found my ear still attached so no perhaps not a croc, what then… Perhaps one of those moving sticks, my humans keep going on about but looking around I don’t see anything.

With the pain still throbbing in my right ear I went in search of me Humans, they always fix things but as I cuddle up to them one by one with me headed tilted on a funny angle they all looked baffled and concerned, himmm not promising. Even worse I hear mention of the V.E.T. Bloody hell I better make me-self scarce…


Before I have a chance to make my escape I’m bundled into the car and we race off to the V.E.T. As usual even with the growing pain in my ear I feel myself being dragged into the dreaded V.E.T. waiting room. My paws in full reverse mode getting no traction on the floor as I still move forwards propelled by my callous Humans.

The V.E.T comes out and fusses with me sore ear, I nearly bit him but he was too quick for me. Of course he then offers me a treat, I know the drill, calm me down before being dragged off to the ROOM for who knows what experiments. NO I spit it out, not falling for that old trick.


Next my humans… traitors… drag me into the ROOM and order me to jump up onto the table. I grudgingly comply but before I can bark “Keep your mitts off of me” a bloody great needle thing is jabbed into me paw. I feel groggy, sleepy, my legs don’t seem to be working anymore and I sink down onto the table’s mat. What have they done to me? I fight the impending sleep which works for a while but finally the lights go out…

I wake to a sea of concerned faces looking at me. Something’s wrong, I can’t feel me paws. Oh no they didn’t take me paws!! A quick glance down though confirms all appendages still attached. Slowly I begin to feel said appendages again, whew.

I’m dumped onto the floor as my legs begin to work a little again. I see my humans looking at a sharp object, the discussion seems centred on the thing being stuck in me ear. What! Closer inspection and it turns out to be a grass seed. I can’t believe my eyes, this thing is nearly a centimetre long and sharp with barbs, no wonder it bloody hurt.


The V.E.T had extracted it from my ear, he said that it was the season in Western Australia for these seeds and if my Humans hadn’t got me to him quickly it could have penetrated my ear drum, don’t know what that is but it doesn’t sound good. He said they had one dog that had a seed travel all the way to the dog’s brain! Ok Ok, perhaps some V.E.T’s may be good guys. I still won’t come willingly to this place though, mark my words.

Oh and another thing, why do my Humans always refer to the Vet as the V. E. T. in my presence? They aren’t fooling anyone…


It would seem that living in Australia even the plant life are dangerous… I’m never going outside again!


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G’Day From WA

I bet you had all given up on me, the most travelled Border Collie in the world? Well don’t you worry I’m back after a wee holiday from blogging and stuff. I met up with an ole blog friend of mine and he gave me a right ticking off for worrying him and my old regular readers. So it’s G’Day from WA!

What have I been up to? Well it has been a busy time settling in to my new country. Here is a snap shot of the last six months in Perth, Western Australia. Have a great Christmas everyone and enjoy!

Now that’s what I call a good shake!
Balloons are brilliant, don’t know why my humans hadn’t introduced me to these little wonders before! Balloons are the new bubbles.
Come on you guys, there’s a ball section down here!

In Germany I was allowed in almost any shop or restaurant with my humans.

Just make sure mine has extra spice, Ok…

Not so in Australia. However our local DIY / Home Improvement store now lets us dogs in though it is rather controversial. I get scowled at by some of the local shoppers, almost a German withering look. Why? You humans are allowed in here aren’t you?

Its Curly-Humans’s birthday. However I do believe this pressie is mine…
Get me outta here!!!

They even have the dreaded V.E.T.’s here in Australia too, and I still don’t like em…

Perth dog parks, yah gotta love em.




Hot weather is back and that means hoses and water, yippee.



It’s a dog’s life eh? Merry Christmas from WA!