Something I need to get off my chest… You see my Humans have been quite careless and lost one of me flock. Yep, Curly-Human has gone missing. It’s been three weeks now and no sign of her.
I keep expressing my deep dissatisfaction with this turn of events but my stupid Humans seem quite oblivious to the crisis. I’ve tried the old technique of sidling up to a human, yip and look deep and meaningfully into their eyes, nothin… The response is usually some facetious remark like “What is it Lassie? Boy down a well?” Well yeah in a manner of speaking, WE ARE MISSING SOMEONE YA DOPEY HUMAN!!!
I guess it’s up to me then to sort this all out and come to the rescue. Don’t panic everybody, the Border Collie’s got this!
Observations of a master dog sleuth then:
- Last seen with my humans (all three of em) three weeks ago helping her out to the car with a lot of human junk stuff (but they always carry a lot of that stuff – I just call it crap…).
- Yes now that I think about it there was a lot more human stuff than usual that went with her.
- Her room in our house is just as she left it… and just as messy… which I love! So no change there then.
- Big warning note to me though… I keep an eye on our family calendar entries – I’m a Border Collie, I need to know these things… Nudder, nothing new on the calendar except one last entry which is a big sticker of an aeroplane… briiiiii I hate those contraptions, I once spend days travelling in one… never never again. If one of those infernal beasts has her then we are in BIG trouble everybody… Just sayin. See this is how ya travel in em. Not cool.
- More recently I have noticed Princess-Human sneaking into Curly’s room and removing items such as the odd piece of human clothing. Now I know from experience this would NEVER happen if Curly were around or even nearby. All hell would break loose if Curly or Princess stole each other’s stuff. Princess must know more than she is letting on. Himmm…
- One more thing, I did hear Curly’s voice the other day coming out of one of the Humans addiction devices they always have attached to their hands (don’t know why – another mystery of the Human universe I live in). Any way it was definitely her, and I tried to bark back but was shooed off into another room – mutter… mutter… But it proves she is still around somewhere.
My initial conclusions then are this:
Curly-Human is still with us but has been shrunk down to the size of an insect and is now living in one of those devices the Humans call a Smart Phone. Poor thing.
Don’t worry I will get to the bottom of this mystery, it’s not over yet.
R (aka The Canine Super Sleuth)