Last Christmas of a Decade

Really? I have to go out in this….

At least there were lots of prezzies for me!
Its a doggie Nerf gun!

It thows tennis balls so me lazy humans don’t have too!

Oh Oh, I’ve eaten me new ball…

Have a great new decade! Take Care Everyone

R

The Mystery of the Missing Windows

Someone stole the window! I told you guys something was happening. Ya shouldn’t have locked me out the back, this is what happens when the Border Collie is unable to protect the borders…

Me windows have been nicked!
Nine of em, all gone! Boy those thieves were really good…

[Human Editor] Ralph, don’t get your paws in a twist… these guys are repairing our ancient sash windows. They are in a sorry state you would agree? Before we couldn’t even open them and you get very hot on these Aussie summer days.

Ok Ok, now I get it Humans and I must say Jack and Luke did a fantastic job so a well-deserved Christmas plug has to go to the team at Sealasash Perth!

Oh, and ya might want to get some new blinds now that the windows are nice and white… just sayin…

R

Ralph Yoda Walker

Yep, it’s that time of year. The Chrissie Tree is up and I still do not understand why Humans hang perfectly good balls from the tree. I think I might sneak out here tonight and get me one of these…

Now Ralph Yoda Walker what? I hear you ask. Well it’s me full name alright… Well like you Humans I’m a bit embarrassed by me middle name if I’m honest.

I know it should have been on me passport but me Humans were a bit forgetful when filling in the form, lucky for me!

The Yoda came from me ears which me Humans thought were particularly Yoda like in me Puppy Days.

Yoda

I am continually teased by me Humans for Yoda. Never ceases to make em laugh! I might just let the word out that Curly-Humans middle name is ….

Guess Who?
Yep its me, oh the embarrassment

So as usual while Curly-Human was out Christmas shopping she spotted something funny and had to buy it… this doggy Yoda costume… And there you have it! Another Christmas… Another Costume for Ralph

This is what I think!

See ya soon

R

I Miss Europe

These past few days have seen some pretty hot weather here in Perth, yesterday it was 42C (108F for you old school types). I hate it, I was born in Ireland so this is not natural to me. I have no Dingo, Australian Kelpie or Australian Cattle Dog in me to help. I hold my DNA test up as evidence of that!

So I just don’t cope well with hot weather.

To make matters worse, me Humans are renovating the house so we have NO air-conditioning! I know, I know, me wolf ancestors never had AC either and they survived. But no I’m not soft alright, they didn’t live in Australia.

Me Humans do understand and hose me down or take me to the beach to cool off which is great.

Now I hear some of you Northern Hemisphere dogs saying I have it way to good, mutter mutter as you suffer through winter! But I say NO. it’s not enough peoples! Where is the snow I ask?

Just a few short years ago at this time of year here I was catching snow balls in Germany for Christmas!

Or chasing me ball in a snowy forest!

Or building snowdogs

Or having fun catching the balls falling from the sky. Never understood why they seem to disappear though when you catch em in ya mouth…

Enjoy your summer or your winter guys.

It is hot but it is an Australian summer after all! But please spare a thought for all the brave firefighters here in Australia battling the bush fires across the country. We even have firefighters helping from as far away as Canada!

R

The Largest Tennis Ball in the World

Last Christmas I got the shock of me life and the best prezzie ever! Now most Humans know me as a fine connoisseur of balls. I just love em and have even blogged about them in the past. Well last Christmas Santa-Dog left me the biggest tennis ball in the world! Today I thought I’d share some pictures with you guys.

How did it get up there? Bloody Humans…
Gotcha!
Tastes pretty good too.

The Human tennis players using this ball must be huge monsters, just sayin…

Until next time.

R

Embarrassing Ralph

Rummaging through me Humans photo collection as ya do… I found a few very embarrassing pictures I had forgotten about. I probably used some of em in earlier blogs but who cares eh. So this blog is to make a statement to other Humans: Please don’t do this to ya dog! Please?

Last Easter some of me Humans saw someone do this on Instagram and couldn’t resist trying out the Bunny shot prank on me. Good thing I got the treat else I would have bitten that hand!

And of course every Christmas there is the obligatory Christmas getup. Now I must find some of those really funny Christmas Jumpers me Humans wear as they are way funnier.

I was just checking out the mice situation in the pantry, honest!

So what bloody idiot ate me Frisbee? Oh wait… that would be me! Gulp.

The car trip. I hate long car trips!

This is really embarrassing! You see me Humans are split on what Rugby team they support. It’s between the Australian Wallabies (in yellow and green colours) and the New Zealand All Blacks (silver and black). Now on account of the fact that I match the New Zealand colours as a Border Collie I go for the All Blacks. On this particular day where New Zealand was playing Australia, one of those traitors supporting the Aussies put this scarf on me. Not Happy!

Me Humans couldn’t resist could they. Just coz the shop owners name is Ralf I was plonked down in front of the door… really peoples… Embarrassing…

Wots the problem? I’m incubating me eggs… err me balls…

Wot? Oh this mess? Nope was not me, a big wind came and blew everything around.

Oh come on, It’s still a ball alright! Ya can still chuck it for me.

Enjoy your weekend!

R

One Border Collie’s Christmas

Hello guys and Merry Christmas! It’s Christmas Eve and all is well. Looks like the bloke in the red and white fluffy sheep costume has been. Missed him sneaking in again. One year I’m gonna catch the bloke red handed for impersonating a sheep, what is he like eh?

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Now while my Humans are distracted I’ll have a wee sneak preview of me prezzies…

 

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Oops… Rumbled… I was just guarding the prezzies from the bloody Putty Tat from next door, honest!

 

Its Christmas morning and finally me Humans are up…  I know, I know, I have a Christmas jumper on. It woz Curly-Human who dunnit, look it doesn’t even fit, it was meant for a Chihuahua!

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Any way down to business, what’s in me stocking eh?

 

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This better be a ball, just saying…

 

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Yep, it’s a ball!, a spikey ball no less, one of me favs. I had one from last year and had recently finally managed to pick off the spikey bits and start shredding the ball itself when me bloody interfering in dogs business Humans nicked it. Something about a mess of plastic bits around the house… Well now I can start all over heh heh…

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… anyway if it’s a mess they want lets have some fun with the Christmas wrapping paper …

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Hey! Curly-Human, come and have some fun. This wrapping paper is just the best for shredding and dragging around the house!

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I have one other prezzie but I can’t yet have it. My Humans decided to steal some of me blood while I was comatose during the V.E.T.s extraction of the tree from me ear a few weeks ago. They have sent it off to a lab for analysis to see what my pedigree is. I’m pretty sure I’m pure Royalty though. A Border Collie direct descendent of Old Hemp himself of course. Will post on me results later.

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So there you go, another Christmas under me belt. My first in a hot climate. Bring on me Christmas lunch and bring on 2017!

R

 

It’s Christmas 2016!

Only two sleeps to go to the big day. It seems like the last year has flown by, even in dog years. It was so bloody cold in those northern climes and remember this…

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Get me outta here…

I was sooo embarrassed as you can tell by my expression. Well this year as it’s a sunny summer down under in Australia there are no signs of the silly fluffy hats and thank god, no Christmas jumpers to be seen anywhere!

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Now sadly last year I did a blog about my last trips to the German Christmas markets, you can find it here. Sadly on two counts, one I genuinely loved to visit them with all their lovely sights and smells but on the other count I’m sad at the loss of life at the Berlin Christmas market a few days ago. My heart goes out to those hurt and the families of those killed. I really despair of you Humans world sometimes…

 

 

 

 

 

On a more positive note here I am with our 2016 tree!

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Yay! No silly hat!

It’s a fake tree this year as it’s a bit hard to come by a real Christmas tree in these parts, it’s not like having a forest across the road like we had last year.

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Pressies beginning to accumulate under it too I note. I smelt one and it has to be a ball for me, heh heh…

 

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I’ve hit the jackpot!

Speaking of balls Christmas is full of em, it drives me crazy. What a waste, sticking perfectly good balls on trees when you could be throwing them for me!

Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year too.

R

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