Merry Month of May

Early17b-001Woz out doing a bit of ball catchin at me new dog beach the other day and these rowdy lunatics turned up.

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Kite Surfing, me socks… ya just distracting me gullible Humans from chucking me ball so clear off the lot of ya!!

Alright it was actually pretty cool. Wish I could have a go, I’d be great at it as long as someone glued me paws to the board, I’d hold the kite in me jaws and away we would go heh heh…

 

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Any by the way as I was such a good prezzy opener last Christmas I have now formally been promoted to Chief Prezzy Opener!

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Here’s me in action on Curly Humans recent birthday.

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Only thing… I was certain there would be another ball in there for me like on me birthday last month but nadder… not a thing. Bit miffed about that since I did such a great job.

 

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But then… A ball – loon. And what the blazes is it doing up there just floating… This is kinda weird! I bet me Humans’ have stashed it up there just to tease me, rotter’s. Better get it none the less.

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Oh I know it’s filled with helium! That’s why it floats. I’ve seen Curly suck some out of these floaters to make her voice go all squeaky. If I just get a bite into the thing and I will bark like a chihuahua!

Until next time…

R

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They Forgot Me Birthday!

First thing this morning I was pestering me Humans for prezzies and birthday food… Nothin… It was like it was just any other day!

I’m 5 years old now, 35 in ya human years…and it’s me Birthday today.

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That’s me on the left, the handsome dude next to me sis when I was 3 months old. My very first photo.

Born in Ireland under dubious circumstances that I don’t remember and my Humans don’t know about. They rescued me from a dog shelter in the New Forest of Southern England in 2012.

 

 

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This is getting serious! Me day wears on as everyone disappears, going about their business. I’m still waiting for me walk, birthday cake, me prezzies…. Still nothin…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boss Human comes home in the afternoon and I smell a rat. Well not literally obviously (well actually I do outside but that’s another story). There is a suspicious bulge in her bag and the smell of new packaging… could that be me prezzy?

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After she dumps her bag and while my Humans are occupied I take the opportunity to check it out. I stick me head in the said bag… Yep, an undeclared package that me as the self appointed “Border Collie er… Control… Officer”, better have a closer look at.

But before I can inspect the mysterious package I hear the W.A.L.K. words. Me dim Human think by spelling it I don’t know what they are talking about but I do. I immediately head “stage left” for the front door at high speed deftly picking up a ball as I go. As me usual enthusiastic squealing reaches a fever pitch, the front door is opened and I burst out, heading for the car.

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We take-off down the road towards the dog park but suddenly turn right instead of left.

Oy! Humans… Dog Park… other way… Me Humans mutter under their breaths “at least he has stopped squeaking”. Hey I don’t squeak, I’m just releasing my inner dog spirit when I’m on me way to the dog park!

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OK, we have come to Quarantine Park, I like Quarantine Park, and its sunsets are brilliant too. Not as many dogs here because in general you are not allowed off-lead but a nice view and I love chasing me ball as it rolls full-speed down the hill (My Humans cheat and let me off-lead if no ones around. Hope that pesky ranger doesn’t spot me).

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And… Oh look! There is a cake for me, you bloody Humans tricked me! But I love ya anyway. It’s made of me fav ingredients too. Tuna sandwiched between chicken and rice rolls and topped off with cheese. I better watch me weight after this one me thinks.

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Heh heh… I knew they wouldn’t forget me prezzies!

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It’s the dimming of the day as the sun sets over the Swan River so we decide to head home to greet me other Humans and of course open me prezzies and eat me cake too!

 

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Cake smelling good me Family!
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I’m not good at puffing out fires lit on cakes. Me Humans do it all the time…
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Now that’s what I’m talking about

This is good tucker,  I need this more often! Now to me prezzies…

 

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Hard work this opening prezzies but I think I’m about done. It seems I have another dumbbell type ball and some flying saucer thingy, not sure what that ones about yet. Love em!

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I think you will find… that’s mine mate!

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And that’s it for a great birthday that got off to a rocky start!

See ya soon

R

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A Border Collies 14 Year Blog-A-Versary

Yep I’ve been blogging on WordPress since March 2015 that’s 14 dog-years mate! And besides that I will be 5 in human-years next month, that’s… er… 35 dog-years, just sayin. I’m feelin decidedly middle aged! Should I go out and get me Humans to purchase a flash ball?, I’m thinking something really big and flashy like …

waterball

 

I know… one those balls you can actually get inside and run on water! Yeah!

 

 

 

 

Is it true, this myth that 1 human year equals 7 dog years? This seems a little unfair to us dogs. Anyway various dog breeds have different average life spans. Me I plan to live forever anyway, I have a big world to see yet…

These are the 16 countries I’ve visited in me lifetime so far:  Germany, England, Wales, Ireland, Czech Republic, Croatia, Slovenia, Austria, Bosnia Herzegovina, Italy, UAE, Switzerland, France, Belgium, Holland and Australia. Yeah, I know, the UAE is pushin it a bit but I did overnight in Dubai on me way to Australia! Who knew eh? I’m a BC rescue and this is my life! To tell the truth though now that we have moved from Europe to me Humans home in Australia we haven’t travelled so much, it’s pretty isolated out here and I’m getting itchy feet…

Anyway back to my blog-a-versary, here are some of me fav blogs over the last 2 (Human) years and a special thank you to all of you who followed me adventures in those early days. Here are a few that were deemed popular or were me own personal favs. Enjoy!

My very first post in March 2015

The Car-0 

 

Why I have a problem with The Car, April 2015

 

 

Border Patrol

 

Border Patrol, Lorsbach, May 2015

 

 

 

A border Collie at Castle Eltz

 

 

Castles in a Heatwave, The Rhine Region, July 2015

 

 

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The Airport Dog, September 2015

 

 

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The Rugby Dog, September 2015

 

 

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How to get Human Food, October 2015

 

 

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Snow White, A Wolf and a Big Cat, November 2015

 

 

 

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Eccentric England, December 2015

 

 

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Last German Christmas Market, December 2015

 

 

 

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Leaving Germany Forever, January 2016

 

 

 

 

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First Month In Australia, February 2016

 

 

 

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My Birthday, April 2016

 

 

 

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Those Western Australian Sunsets, May 2016

 

 

 

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When I found out who I am! January 2017

 

 

 

See ya soon

R

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Goodbye Murray

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Murray Ball dog cartoon 1939-2017 by Guy Body

Sadly Murray Ball, Uncle Dog’s drawer and writer (creator) of his stories passed away this week.  Goodbye me old mate and may your travels in that big paddock in the sky be an awesome one.

Link to tribute on ABC

R

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Flying Dogs

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It’s a wet, stormy and miserable afternoon here in Perth, Western Australia. I’m not allowed out to even the dog park due to the weather so I have been jumping around catching a few rain drops for me entertainment. Now that I’m utterly bored with that I have a cunning idea…

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No I did not Photoshop me self in here!

A rummage through me Humans photos and I came up with a few choice pickies of me flying for ya! Who needs agility training eh? And who said Border Collies can’t fly?

Now for me, flying requires a certain motivation… Usually in the form of a ball, a balloon or bubbles. Actually pretty much anything round that is tossed into the air come to think of it!

So to start with here are a few pickies of me flying to catch balls at the park

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Mark! They need me in the local Rugby team.

 

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The Spider

 

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Super Dog

 

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Ballet

 

 

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Look at the view from up here!

 

 

 

And bubbles provide a good excuse to launch ya self of course!

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The one legged shuffle

 

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These bubbles are big, I think I dislocated me jaw.
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OK… That’s a bird feeder not a bubble then…
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Pop!

 

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Dance! A little to the right… A little to the left…

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look at me! Strait up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More

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Tease!

 

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Not enough of these things in the world

 

Enjoy ya Sunday guys I know I did chuckling at me antics…

 

R

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The Putty Tat Next Door Part 2.

My tail, continues…

In a wonderful about turn, the Putty Tat next door is no longer in favour with me Humans. The crafty Putty Tat has made a rather fatal mistake, he’s been weeing on Boss Humans favourite plant beds at the front of our house leaving an awful evil smell. To top this off the silly Putty Tat had got himself caught catching a few zees in our back yard too. Then leaving fur and other smelly evidence which caused Curly Humans allergies to flare up.

Boss Human has spoken to our neighbours about keeping the offending feline inside at night but the neighbours seem to think there is no evidence it’s even their Putty Tat that is responsible.

All this has fired up Grumpy Human’s rather overactive imagination. He’s been wandering around muttering “that blasted cat, if I wanted a cat I’d have traded the dog in for a proper cat…” – [hey wot?]. And “I’ll build a cat tracking and  repellent device, that will show those  annoying neighbours”

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Now Grumpy Human is a bit of a mad scientist so I worry about what he will come up with…

And just as I feared, a day later I find Grumpy has rigged up a special infrared night camera contraption for the front porch to capture said evidence but so far no Putty Tat has been seen…

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Wasn’t me honest, must have been a big possum

Although it has caught me sneaking out a couple of times, bugger. Perhaps I can call myself the Grey Ghost of the Forest, a name handed down from me great Uncle Dog… Seems appropriate on account of me long lost German forest days and all.

No Putty Tat yet? Hah ha, I told you so! Ya should have let me do me job Humans… Now I have a cunning plan of me own which involved letting me have access to the Secret Ball Stash (yes I know where it is), energizing me with a stack of left over Christmas mince pies, going for a quick swim in the ocean to get me stamina up, getting me the best butchers bone ever, letting me have 8 hours snoozing undisturbed, giving Princess Human full authority to scratch me behind the ears for as long as I want…,  I’m sure once all these conditions are met the Putty Tat won’t stand a chance eh? They don’t call this devilishly handsome and rather brave dog-descended-from-wolf the Grey Ghost for nothing ya know!

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See! Told you I knew where the Secret Ball Stash was. It’s in Grumpy Humans home office / workshop.  Good try hiding it in there as it’s near impossible to find anything in that muddle of high technology, old books and house renovation materials…

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It’s me white glow-in-the-dark ball. Haven’t seen  this one in a while.

 

A few days later…

I’ve been hearing this strange high pitched whine in me ears the last couple of days. Princess and Curly have been complaining about it too. Boss and Grumpy Human aren’t bothered or just don’t hear it. It’s driving me mad… The noise seems to be coming from Grumpy-Human’s home office / workshop, himm… The Grey Ghost investigates…

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Oh my giddy uncle! It seems Grumpy has not just rigged up a night vision camera, oh no, he has gone on the Putty Tat offensive. He has an ultrasonic sound maker thingy putting out an extremely loud screech whose pitch is so high that it annoys and scares off Putty Tats but most Humans can’t hear it. I like your thinking Grumpy Human but just a teeny tiny flaw… “YOU ARE ANNOYING ME AND MOST OF THE DOGS & CATS IN THE STREET AS WELL. NOT TO MENTION EVERY HUMAN UNDER THE AGE OF TWENTY TWO IN RANGE!!” – Hang on a sec, maybe he is on to something here. Not for Putty Tats but those pesky Humans next door who party way into the night when I’m trying to sleep…

OK, so thankfully Grumpy Human has decided not to go ahead with his contraption other than to capture an image of the mystery moggie as evidence for the neighbours. This leaves me (and me ears) free to catch the Putty Tat myself, a new cunning plan is needed, off for a snooze then to dwell on said cunning plan…

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The story continues…

R

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An Anniversary and Ralphing At The V.E.T’s

I’m not happy! I have a figurative bone to pick with me Humans. Hey, I’d pick an actual bone if I could with em! Today is my one year anniversary of arriving in Australia.

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Now I was thinking a nice outing at the Dog Beach then some treats at home but no…

It all started this afternoon as I was assuming my normal position in the Kitchen while Boss-Human was preparing the evening meal. You just never know what opportunities arise if you are in the right place at the right time. Once I got a whole steak which “accidentally” fell off the kitchen bench…

Anyway there I was observing the proceedings of a large chunk of meat being unpacked ready for the oven. Low and behold a piece of what looked to me like a fine dog sized morsel fell out of the packaging and onto the floor. Well ya don’t have to tell me twice, I was on it like a dog to a Putty-Tat! Snafued it so quick Boss-Human nearly missed it.

Sadly, she didn’t miss the incident however and the next think I know all hell breaks loose. There’s talk of the murderous V.E.T again… everyone’s crowding around looking at me like I’m about to explode. All I feel is the last traces of yummy-ness passing down me throat. What are these Humans of mine on eh? It’s a reminder of the time I ate a yummy rather large bone in Germany which upset me Humans no end… Humans are weird sometimes, just a dogs observation.

 

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Now here is a picture of said morsel of meaty goodness, now I’m not talking about the meat itself, its the white stuff next to it which in my case was filled with so much meaty juices it had turned black.

 

 

Listening to me humans discuss this it turns out that you are not supposed to eat the absorbent meat pads. I say why the bloody-hell not? Why put it in with the meat if you are not supposed it eat it eh? Humans…

After a quick squizz on-line by Boss-Human and a call to the local V.E.T I hear that I’m off to visit me not so favourite place again – oh bugger, here we go again…

This is what the V.E.T explained to my Humans about the scoffing of said meat pad:


These absorbent pads from the bottom of the meat trays are very attractive to dogs! Most of the time these will pass through a dog’s intestines and come out in their poop. However, there is a possibility that the pad can cause an obstruction. The pads are meant to soak up moisture and so they can become very large in the stomach or intestines.

Signs of an obstruction include:

  • Vomiting
  • Straining to poop
  • Painful belly
  • Lethargy
  • No appetite

If your dog has any of these symptoms then a vet visit is a good idea. If your dog has eaten this within the last hour you may want to consider asking your vet to induce vomiting.

I hope everything “comes out” ok!

The Vet


 

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On reading the advice of it being less than an hour since me incident I find myself at the V.E.Ts. The dodgy Vet guy tries to shove something down me throat, apparently to make me throw up me tasty morsel. I won’t have it and nearly bite his hand off. Boss-Human has a go, well what can I do, she’s The Boss right? So I swallow the tablet or whatever it was. Within seconds I’m outside giving up me morsel and much of me lunch too into the garden.

What a fiasco and now I’m bloody hungry to boot! Happy anniversary to me, grumble grumble …

R

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A Boys Weekend At Home

My flock has been reduced. It all started when Curly and Princess didn’t return home after an outing. Me flock down by 2, I kept trying to tell Grumpy and Boss, but couldn’t get through to them… Then Boss disappeared too! Away somewhere up north for work in the Bad Lands where crocodiles and monsters roam. I worry… then I think …ahhh she will be fine, besides now it’s just us boys with the house to ourselves.

This is cool, a boys weekend then! Oh the peace and quiet, no squeakage from Princess and Curly, no Boss bossing me around. Just us boys. I even get a chance to read me footyflats book, catching up on me long lost uncle…

Have a great weekend everyone, I am!

R

P.S Oops I’m not supposed to be on the sofa, hope Boss Human doesn’t read this post.

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A Dog Out And About In A Brand New Year. Part 2, the Water Collie

I still call Australia home! Some great pictures of me day out in Mandurah, a seaside town south of Perth.

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Keep ya eye on the ball Ralph, eye on ball… What ya don’t see is me backing into the water a few seconds after this shot was taken. Me daft Humans failed to warn me of the big drop into the abyss right behind! Good as this photo was, Boss-Human was not happy the photo wasn’t taken just a few seconds later. [Editors note. bloody funny none the less]

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Mutter… mutter… harrumph… pushed in, I bet I was pushed. Bloody Humans can’t live with em, can’t live without em…

 

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On the plus side it is rather cooling and fun in the water with this Aussie heat. I should just jump in and get that ball you know, me being the World Famous Water Collie in all.

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OK, get me ball please!

Nah, on the other paw, why bother when ya Humans have retriever things for that!

 

Bugger they threw me ball way out beyond the retriever thingy’s range, nothing for it but to make the long trek out and back, rotters!

 

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Sorry Curly Human but your splashy–splash arm-wavy swimming method is no match for me Water Collie dog paddle, I win!

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So from the famous Water Collie of Mandurah, this is Ralph signing off from another brilliant day out in 2017.

R

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A Dog Out And About In A Brand New Year, Part 1

Shove over Curly, I have a story to tell… OK, it’s a new year and I intend to get it off to a great start by getting out more.

 

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Have ball – check. Have Human anti-guishy throwing thing – check. Comfy towel –check. Car to ride in – check. Sand from last trip to beach – check. Me Humans to take me there – No Check. Hey! where are you guys???

 

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Love meeting me mates at the dog park. As long as they don’t steal me ball – it’s a real problem me Humans need to address with some of the dogs here let me tell you. But ole snowy here he’s harmless. One to many Human snacks me old mate, just sayin…

 

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Some of the locals. The Meces here in Australia are bloody humongous with long lanky legs and a tail like a tree trunk, ya don’t mess with em as I have found out from experience…

 

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Well guys thats me full 10 minutes of ball catching – extended edition. Time to go coz its too bloody hot mate!

 

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Ahhh… nothing like a swim at the local dog beach, just what I need to cool off after a vigorous work out at the park eh?

R

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